I’m Lovin’ It

Well, it’s still April so I made it! My new kitchen has already been put to good use, though sometimes the kitchen sink is the most useful, especially when eating pickled beets in a rush. My new roommate and I have hit it off considerably well, and though he’s not much help when it comes to cooking, he has a wonderful singing voice. Dear Reader, I introduce Hector:


Today I deliver a failure – albeit a delicious failure – of my first scratch veggie burger. The basis of my recipe came from the Veganomicon cookbook, which I highly recommend for the vegan who is bored with the usual fare and knows their way around the kitchen.

Alright, so here’s the skinny. I was waiting for the bus by a McDonald’s and the smell of grease gave me the McCravings, until I heard the faint ‘udderance’ of sad moos on the wind, and decided to attempt a homemade veg burger. I thought of using a roasted portobello in lieu of a patty, but thought again when I found the recipe for Chickpea Cutlets (Veganomicon, p 133). Unfortunately, I was missing some key ingredients – namely solitary chickpeas, vital wheat gluten, thyme and paprika. I also didn’t want to make 4 cutlets in case they turned out poorly, so here is how I doctored the recipe:

1/2 can of fava beans & chickpeas1 tbsp olive oil
1/4 c whole oats
2 tbsp hemp hearts
1 tbsp soy sauce
2 cloves garlic, crushed or minced
splash of white cooking wine
the juice of half a lemon
1/2 tsp sage
salt & pepper
(and, if I’m truthful, other spices that I just don’t remember. I’ll have a sticky note next time, I swears!)

I mashed all the ingredients with a fork until it was a thick, mold-able paste and then proceeded to mold them into patty shapes. What I should have done, just in case (and what you should do), is start by mashing the beans and oil and then add the remaining ingredients in a timely fashion. I’m sure my food processor would have been brilliant as well. Anyway, if your paste is too doughy and not sticky at all, then add some water or vegetable stock until it feels moist and holds its shape. If it is too soggy like magic putty, then add flour until it holds its shape.

Heat up some oil in a skillet at medium-high heat. Heat those puppies up about 7-8 minutes on each side. Behold, les burgers.

Bean Burgers

So what makes a burger delicious? The toppings. I started with delicious, nutritious avocado. Instead of slicing it up, I did a quick mash-up with some Sriracha. I call it ‘whackamole’.


PAUSE: Please, Dear Reader, stop calling it “seer-ee-atch-ee”, if you call it that. It is spelled s-r-i-r-a-c-h-a which reads SREE-ROTCH-AH. I forgive you this once. Never rhyme this sauce with mariachi again.

Ahem, continuing on. The line-up for the toppings were Veganaise, whackamole, tomato slices, romaine lettuce, BBQ sauce and sauerkraut. Get creative, though and make yours exactly how you like it! Red onions? Artichoke hearts? Caramelized pineapple? Tell me how you stack up your veggie burger.


You may be wondering, how did I fail? Where did all this deliciousness go wrong? It was the lack of a binding agent, so the patty was more of a barely held together fried bean paste. Which was incredibly tasty but messy. Next time, I will try to amend this. More patty adventures to come. In the mean time, eat well, Frittatas.



One thought on “I’m Lovin’ It

  1. Even though you say it was failed, it sure looked delicious! And with all those great ingredients… makes me want to try one too. My last attempt at veggy burgers was with lentils and my family still mocks me for them. What can you do? At least we’re out there trying stuff!!

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